I'm thinking back to when Haleth gave me that sword. It was an excellent sword, standing alone on its original crafters merits and nicer than anything I had possessed before. Then she told me to meet her and Islander at the weapon tinkerer's shop... and what Islander did was amazing, improving on the balance and adding a razor's edge to the blade. I remember being so excited and anxious to test it against the nearest beast. Haleth chased after me as I practically ran straight to the Strange Glowing Catacombs to battle the strange creatures that lurked there. The sword was simply amazing! I remember how easily it sliced through their armor, finding the too soft flesh beneath. Strike after strike, their eerie green blood eventually ran so thick it colored the pools of stagnate water. The sheer power of the sword was amazing... and multiplied by the love and care that went into its forging as a weapon for me, by the one who loves me best. That sword was a precious gift, from my Haleth... and I remember how reticent I was to put it away when the time came for me to move on to weilding the Sword of the Warrior and eventually, my Ultimate Weapon.

Well, that sword and its power has long laid dormant in my bank. Shameful, really. Every time I visited the bank I would see it there.. still thirsting for battle, wanting to sing with the blood of demons as every weapon belonging to a warrior does... waiting for me to take it into battle one more time. Its power nor its sharp edge has not dulled over these long weeks and months. When I took it from its place on the shelf today I could swear I hear a sigh of relief, if swords could sigh.. this one was happy to be held once more. And I knew it would be honored to be in the hands of a true warrior and a dear friend of mine. It was a shame, after all, to have such a well loved instrument of battle to lay collecting dust. Sreip would honor it, I knew, and care for it properly.. and use it as intended to slay many of the foul beasts that plague our lands.

And so, it is passed now to Sreip. She impressed upon me the great honor she felt in carrying the blade and I told her only a small bit of the history and value it held for me. There are very few other's I would trust to carry the blade so lovingly gifted to me by Haleth. I think I will miss seeing it in my bank when I go there, but I also think I will see it far more often as Sreip carries it and will always smile knowing that it will serve her as faithfully as it did me until the time comes for her to also put it away. I asked Sreip if I could see her carry it into battle the first time and she obliged, of course. She is unquestionably fierce and that blade.. that.. amazing sword.. a masterpeice to see in action. I watched as she cleaved into the carapaces of the Young Ant Workers... and if I had not known that it was made to fit my hand, it certainly seemed to be a natural extension of Sreip's arm.

It was refreshing to see that she took the sword immediately into battle and really seemed to be appreciate its special qualities. Im sure Haleth will glad to hear that her gift continues to protect Valorn in the hands of one as skilled and honorable as Sreip.

Its been days since I've seen her. Ive been trying very hard to stay busy.. to stay occupied.. to not find an excuse to just sit at home and wait. It sounds silly, I know. But the world just doesnt seem right when she is not around for so long. I am quite sure the sun rises with her smile... and I've been wandering in the dark for too long now. I dont feel like I can go another day without hearing her voice, yet I know I will find a way. I miss my Haleth. I've been doing good at not whining so much. Staying busy helps. I used to hide away in the wild places and train. I would avoid people so that I didn't hear her voice in a crowd or see the flutter of a cloak around a corner and think it might be her just out of my sight.. just beyond reach. Its a lot lonelier around other people, I have found. It's easier to be alone... but its not right. So, I've been busy. Helping here and there.. my friends, acquaintences, even perfect strangers. I think that has helped to take my mind off of her the most. Worrying about someone else, instead of counting the marcs until I see her again.

I am sure I will read this tomorrow and think how pathetic I sound. Atleast I didn't cry. Sitting around the Inn's talking about her.. and she always comes up in conversation... really doesn't help. I don't think anyone has noticed. I think I have enough armor to keep my soft spots hidden, if not.. then .. well, if not then I guess it really doens't matter anyway. No one has asked, so I guess that's good then. Although someone did comment that I did talk about Haleth quite often. Maybe you could say you don't know what you've got until it's gone, but I've always known. I'm just not used to being without her. I hope I never will be. She is the truth that walks through the my world of fiction and without her, none of this would make sense.

I miss her so. How many marcs, now?

It has been a most productive day. I managed to commission a textile artist to do my bidding and she informed it will take quite a bit of time to complete... but I can wait. I still have much to do before... Well, there is just much to do.

I had the opportunity to see Thorne battle a Green Crystal Guardian, thanks to the alertness of John Fumberdink and Minerva. As for the outcome... that is his story to tell. Its always an exciting time to see a battle for such as that. Those Green Guardians will knock almost any I know from their feet with a single swipe of their metal paws!

I know I was going to avoid Starling for awhile. I thought that would just ... give her whatever space she needed to sort out what ever was going through that head of hers. Then she saw me in the Glass Tavern and flinched away as if I were about to strike her when I turned to see her. The look of fright on her face was... just.. awful! So, I decided that I should chase her down and sort out this matter once and for all. Afterall, I havent done anything to be treated as one that would.. that has ever.. or would ever do something to get such a reaction from a stranger, let alone someone whom I thought was my friend. She was almost to the Wall before I caught up with her in the desert, finally. Well, I did catch her at the Life Monument in Milltown.. but she skiddered away before I could get much said. We did talk for quite awhile ... for longer than I prefer to stand in the arid, unbearable heat of the desert. In the end, we sorted out our misunderstanding and I think repaired what misconceptions we had of each other. Shes an odd one, that Starling, but... in a very interesting sort of way.

Well, there is still much collecting to be done and I shouldnt neglect my training too much. Urkki has been helping me lately and its been rather nice to have someone to train. However, it really makes me miss the days I spent training with Haleth... perhaps I should wait, then I can have that again.

Ive been collecting and already have quite a bit. Starling is to thank for most of them, she has given me the most so far.. although the odd initiate is happy to hand over what they may carrying around with them as well. Of course, Jeffrey always has a few for sale as well as Jaymes.. and Haggie more than anyone. Im not sure how long it will take, but I am rather sure it will be worth it.

She's always worth it - no matter the cost.

Had an interesting conversation with Starling, now that I think of it. Normally, I wouldnt have went seeking her in the Ant colony. Especially after seeing her.. after getting that message. Yet, it was the message that spurred me on. I had to find out. I had to know if she could just.. do that any time she wanted.. That would be some kind of awful to just something like that sprung on you unaware of what was going on - especially with a malicious intent. But she said.. and I trust her, because she seemed oddly frightened by the end of our conversation.. she said she only delivers messages she is given. So, its not as if she would.. or could.. or would.. just start acting like someone else. Oh, this is all really very silly after all. I feel awful, actually. Starling acted as if I were about to strike her before I left and I wasnt angry, I didnt raise my voice.. I dont really understand why. I left a gem behind, not that its much.. but maybe a bit of payment for her time will square things.

Anyway, perhaps I should just take my own advice and avoid that one for now.

Harboring helpless hungering

Allergorically allowing antecede

Languid luscious lucidity

Enthralling endless entropy

Trembling textured tenacity

Holding Haleth's hand.

Love is more
than beating hearts;
it's more than breathless kiss.
Love is more
than touching hands;
it's more than fleeting bliss.
Love is more
than what is seen;
it's more than meeting eyes.
Love is more
than wanting burn;
it's more than passion's cry.
Love is more
than I can say;
it's more than tender words.
Love is more
than just two souls
finding their own world.
Love is more
than you and me;
it's more than any one.
Love is more
than who we are;
it's what We have become.

I keep falling alseep with Beormiht in my hand... I think Haleth is starting to wonder.

Its been a time for celebration lately, with the Festival and my friends often visiting the trainer to advance their skill and power. I am looking forward to going to the trainer again with Haleth. She is always so jubilant and excited she practically jumps into my arms... and there is nothing in the world like that beaming smile when she aims it my way and I get to tell her how awfully proud I am of her. Of course, I am always... but I just love every opportunity to say so. And she has been training so hard recently, I just know it wont be too long.

The Knights have recently added one to their ranks. I was glad to see Alfin Slowhand has taken the Oath. He will be a fine addition and will surely enjoy the life of a Knight as well! I dont think Islander knows yet, but he will surely be even more excited to have a guildmate among us.

I suppose I really should be training myself. Now that Alfin has joined, I am not the lowest level of the Knights but I am sure that wont last long. I just... really hate being alone in that place. Maybe I will go help some enchanters hunt Blue Guardians. A profitable endeavor, to say the least... and there is always a grateful enchanter nearby. It certainly beats ... being alone.

We met so that she could deliver a message. It wasn't so out of the ordinary, at least.. it didnt begin that way. She wanted to meet in the hut just off the path in N'rolav - a strange place to meet I admit. But since I was already there and apparently so was she, the Quiet Dark (as she calls it) doesnt get many visitors except maybe this hut where the elucidators reside. Now, we were two amongst the in and out visitors of clerics and enchanters... however, there was no one else there when we arrived.

I arrived not long after Starling. She was waiting in her usual manner, hunched a bit.. eyes darting furtively as if waiting for an excuse to run... even when she seemed a bit relaxed, Starling was always tensed and ready to spring. I could not imagine always being so... but that really isnt the point, after all. We exchanged a brief greeting; a grin and a hello, nice to see you as always... returned with a slightly less hesitant stammer than usual, she seemed anxious to have this message said.

Then she.. changed.. suddenly from her drawn position to standing in that way so familiar to me. Her posture straightened, shifting to angle herself toward me in that way Haleth so often does... and tilted her chin just so... if it wasnt for her... well, if I hadnt seen it.. or if I didnt know better... then as she spoke, delivering Haleth's message with heartbreaking accuracy, her voice carried that same ache I hear echoed when Haleth and I are apart for many days. It was disturbing to say the least. I am sure that Starlings perfect mimic of Haleth's mannerisms wasnt meant to... unsettle me - but delivering a message is one thing, assuming the persona of the person sending the message is another thing all together. I'm not sure if she even noticed that my feet couldnt carry my fast enough away.

I don't think I will be finding myself inadvertent alone with Starling anytime very soon. I really think its best... I was still a bit unsettled when I arrived at Dundee Inn afterward, but there was a small crowd. Between Remy and the other conversations, my mind was kept off of it for the most part. Not that I am upset with Starling or anything.. She is quite odd and I know that she doesnt always understand appropriate social connections and expectations. And Im sure she meant to deliver the message in the best way she knew how... its just... very, very strange.

Then seeing Haleth so soon afterward was such a relief. It is a good thing she didnt question my exuberance to have my real wife with me for awhile... Now, she sleeping so peacefully by my side as I write this. Its so very nice to just look away from the page for a moment and see that contented little smile on her face. She is sleeping so soundly now, that I think I may be away for a bit more training and hopefully return before she awakens again. She did mention that she noticed I havent visited the trainer in awhile... perhaps we will get the chance to go together next. Of course, that will require more training on my part... and much less time in this journal.

I need to be more attentive to my journal. It is more difficult to look back than to record as I go, but I find that I must do just that at the moment. I will have to attempt to order it later, perhaps... but for now, I will write them down.

I have taken a new apprentice. Brakkus is his name. He is a bright and dedicated young man. He trains hard and is honorable in his actions. He will be a fine example of a warrior if he keeps on his path. He doesnt often ask for help, as he has joined a guild and I suppose that they take care of most of his needs, answering his questions as he goes. So, he is less of an apprentice than Jeff was - who required constant motivation to keep to his training and has yet to acquire his apprenticeship form. Malin introduced me to Brakkus and asked if I could help him when the time came for him to visit the temple. Normally, I do not take on the task of sponsoring lightly... and I didnt this time either. I agreed only to speak to him about becoming a warrior and seeing if I could introduce him to a suitable sponsor or mentor. Well, we met and we talked for many marcs. I had a very good feeling about him and after a few days, we made out first (and second) attempt to make it to the Temple. Needless to say, I did warn him that I am not a very good mentor in the aspect of finding your way around without a well marked map! But after a few days, Brakkus became a Warrior on the third try. As for what happened... the first, second, third (and final) try, that is Brakkus' story to tell. However, I can say that John Needles did aptly name the journey, "Raffe's Scenic Tour to the Temple." Brakkus is now closer to his 30th level of training than his 15th... I suppose it has been the scenic tour to the journal as well.

I met a strange woman called Starling some time ago as well. She began appearing in the Dundee Inn, but remained very quiet and was often quite skiddish... leaving without a word, or if someone spoke too loudly, moved too quickly.. paid her too much attention. I had pretty much given up on speaking to her, as it seemed that I only frightened her away and I really felt bad for making her uncomfortable. So, instead of a hearty congratulations when the World Crier announced her advancement in skill, I sent her a few notes - quieter that way, and she didnt have to read them if she didnt want to. Then I saw her in N'rolav! I was most concerned... She isnt now, and most certainly was not then, strong enough to stand for even a moment against the creatures that dwell there. Of course, my attempt to warn her of the dangers ended with me chasing her into the broken remains of Milltown there. I didnt mean to chase, but I couldnt just leave her there without saying something... But it turns out, she preferred sleeping there - oddly enough. I can barely stand to fight in that place for long, let alone choose to sleep within the stench of evil that permeates every fiber of N'rolav. It makes me sweat just thinking about it. Well, she fled.. of course... and I didnt see her for some time after that. That has been awhile back and now I like to say we are friends. We speak on occasion in Dundee and even in passing around the wild places of Valorn. She even looks me in the eyes from time to time, smiling without looking down to shadow her expression. I think perhaps she is adjusting quite well to the life of an adventurer here and seems to have made quite a few trustworthy friends. I still see her tracks in N'rolav from time to time.. but I havent asked her why she would be in such a... place. Maybe I will some day and get more of an answer than I did the first time.

I have also made many new friends at the CSB. My friendship with Sreip has grown and with time spent with friends, you end up spending time with their friends - until they become your friends as well. Its really rather nice. The Bunnies certainly know how to have a good time... and have had a very good showing of that during the Fall Festival with all the events they have had. I missed Zelaria's fishing hole, but I did make one round of the Random Rhymes. Haleth did as well, although it was at different times - and unsurprisingly, she performed much better than I did.

I think that is all for now. Ive been sitting here for so long, that I think the spiders in this cave have begun to rebuild their webs around me as if I were part of the scenery... or worse, that might be a sign they have my flesh in mind for their dinner. Best to put away the pen for the sword, I think.

The Fall Festival has been fantastic!
I have two costumes, one of Primus Cory and of a Masked Bandito (the Magnifico Masked Bandito, as I call myself). Almost everyone I know has at least one... some have many, many costumes. Haleth has two as well - a very adorable scarecrow and a quite frightening Death Banshee. I probably dont have to say that I like her face much better than the costumes and I understand better now why she was... hesitant the first few days I had my costume. It certainly takes some getting use to.

A funny thing about costumes. Azure, Sreip's apprentice and doggeralist extraordinaire of the Bunnies, has taken to fashioning costumes of her friends. She has costumed up as myself, Sreip, Jaaay, Remy, Urkki, Topaz, Aierwen... and Haleth, among possible others. The funny part was that I had not seen Haleth for a couple of days, aside parting whispers on sleeping ears. Then Azure, dressed as Haleth, tells me hello... needless to say she was a bit surprised with my greeting! It was not something I would have said to anyone other than Haleth and I suppose it was a good thing that I didnt attempt to kiss her... that would have been extremely embarassing. So, it could have been worse... but I did notice right away that her eyes didnt have the right kind of.. sparkle. I guess I was just so excited to see her, that it didnt really register... Well.. no matter. Just a funny thing about costumes and I hope Azure avoids getting inadvertantly kissed by an unwitting. amorous husband in the future!

The Festival has been filled with extraordinary events. The most notable so far has been the locked-in story telling event hosted by the CSB. Its an amazing experience and so... real... The story certainly rings true on many levels of friendships, hardships, unity, and dedication. It carries forth many of the same principles as our Purification Ceremony - and during this time of gayiety when we celebrate our gods and life in Valorn, it is important to also remember why we fight the evils at our gates and how we will triumph in the end through our unity and not purely by strength of arms (which shouldnt be neglected either, I should mention). Well, there is so much to say about it that its impossible to get it all into words. The CSB has created a wonderful thing and it was a privelege to experience it with my friends.

There is so much, as always. The days seem to pass full of fun events, conversations with friends, momentary defeats, resounding triumphs... and each heartbeat joyfully bracketted by Haleth's love. I have never been happier.